Old ladies versus 'youths'
It seems to me that an inevitable part of living in a city is not merely the fact that you encounter large numbers of strangers on a daily basis, but that the relationship you have towards them shapes your very understanding of human worth - both theirs and yours. Take for example the indignant reaction of people in queues when someone pushes in. Previously a line of individuals unconcerned to communicate with each other, but then transformed by exchanges or mutterings about the taboo that's just been broken. Even if such exchanges fail to shame the person to go to the back of the queue, they are still very important because they reassure you that by and large the social norms that keep us civilised are being kept to because anyone that breaks them is chastised. You might cast a judgement on the person who pushed in as inconsiderate and selfish and in distinguishing yourself from such behaviour such incidents help to reiterate your sense of self worth because you wouldn't behave like that!!
So imagine the blow to my ego when an old lady the other day accused me of having bad manners. I was trying to get a newspaper from the counter of a shop and didn't realise until I had it in my hand that this old lady's purse was resting on it. As I slipped it out from underneath realising in the process what was happening, I said "Oops sorry". The response was a decidely frosty - "Be careful you don't knock my money to the floor."
"I said sorry", I pleaded but she wouldn't listen. "Bad manners, that's what it is", she muttered. I tried harder this time - "Look, I'm sorry, I was tired and not concentrating properly, I apologise" but she wouldn't turn to look at me and just walked off.
I had barely recovered from this assault on my perception of myself as a decent human being when I ran into some more trouble shortly after getting off the bus as I walked home. A male 'youth' sped past me on a bicycle, dressed in tracky bottoms and a hoody (you know the type) and I could hear his friends behind me making barely intelligible noises which indicated that I was in their way. Refusing to have my right to walk on the pavement taken away from me I just continued walking. As these kids managed to navigate round me I was greeted with, "Wots the matta, you def or sumint, didn't ya 'ear?" I'm afraid I find it very difficult not to respond in these situations and so I yelled after them "You should be riding in the road, not on the pavement!!!" to which came the following reply eloquently shouted from across the road - "Wot d'ya say BITCH!.......Wot d'ya say BITCH!......."
By now I was seriously starting to have reservations about humanity and wondered if the incident with the 'youths' was some kind of divine retribution to make up for the incident with the old lady.
Today however I managed to have two pleasant exchanges with elderly women and so my faith in myself has been restored!!! One was a kindly lady at a bus stop who obviously deemed me approachable enough to ask me for the time ....."Oh, is it really that late love, oh I've spent too long in Ilford, can't go where I where I was thinking of going now, no it's too late, oh isn't it windy, it's too windy isn't it, it was too hot the other day, now its too cold, I'm waiting for the 145, what bus you waiting for love? Oh we must've just missed one....Oh it is windy isn't it?" and so on and so forth.
The other old lady I spoke to less than an hour ago and greeted me with the words "Hello cherub" and so now I'm positively glowing with delight. OK so this one was my nan so I guess it doesn't count, but it's still nice to hear!! My nan's lovely, I miss my nan.