Friday, May 13, 2005

Banished to Clayhell!!!

sorry I meant Clayhall obviously!! Yes greetings from the deepest darkest depths of the suburban jungle, here in this corner of Essex where London truly does end, or begin depending on your perspective. Hark the cries of a damsel in distress, confined to a not so towering bungalow prison eagerly awaiting her knight in shining armour to rescue her from this torment.

In case you hadn't guessed it I'm back in my childhood home, cat, dog and housesitting whilst my mother, nan and ickle sister are off on a Mediterranean cruise!! Lucky for some eh? I'll be here for about 2 weeks during which time I have to keep a very close eye on the dog (Misty) who's recovering from major surgery and now has a huge scar on her stomach to rival mine. Yes, at last Misty and I have something in common - I feel like we've bonded!!!

With only a dog and cat for company I have resorted to the TV for the illusion of human interaction. I swear I have watched more TV tonight than I usually watch in two weeks, or a month even! First I watched the news when I came home from work, next a programme about troublesome toddlers, and then I caught a bit of Eastenders. At some point I tuned into Channel 5' s "Brand New You" which showed plastic surgery so invasive I felt sick and rang home (Leytonstone) to share this with a poor unsuspecting Lucy, then I watched "Families behaving badly" - another programme about dysfunctional families, followed by a programme about marriage breakdown. Yes I was really indulging in society's moral collapse tonight! Lastly I watched newsnight cover new research about the possible links between Cannabis and Psychosis! So all in all I've had a bit of 'televisual feast'.

I have been given strict instructions by Toni to supervise the convalescing dog as much as possible (as well as text her with daily updates - I am NOT exaggerating) so I won't be out and about as much over the next couple of weeks. Given that I don't drive I really feel like I've been banished to the sticks and not sure how I'll cope with such a severly diminshed social life. Quite clearly I cannot manage one night without human interaction so I urge you all to ring, email and blog me as much as possible during this imprisonment to stop me going insane!


At 3:48 pm, Blogger I'm Over The Moon said...

yeah, actually, what is this with the tv now? Tonight's viewing on any terrestrial channel is likely to be:
7.00- Kids behaving badly
7.30- Selling houses
8.00- fat people
8.30- houses behaving badly
9.30- Fat kids
10.00- Selling houses to fat people with kids behaving badly
10.30- Fat kids behaving badly
all of which will be the repeat, sorry "revisited" versions that tell you that a year later the kids/people/houses are slightly less fat/badly behaved/valuable. Then tomorrow channels one and three will compete frantically over who has the most camp presenters...

At 3:49 pm, Blogger I'm Over The Moon said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:55 pm, Blogger Shizue said...

Quite true.

However, I can forgive the terrible programming since it has brought the radiant Kirstie Allsop into my life.
The shoes! The coats! The desire to bully people into buying houses and the pathological need to knock walls through to create living-cum-dining-spaces!
The way she can't pronounce 'o's and her fabulous hair!

Did I mention the shoes?


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